Sunday, March 4, 2012

Fondue of Feces

Here is another short story I've written this one about a man locked in a public restroom. This one may be a little graphic and immature, if the title didn't give you a clue. It's silly, but I also think a lot of fun so I hope you enjoy. As always please give me any feedback, this is a rough draft, be brutal here in the comments or email me.

            Jason Niman shifted because of the uncomfortable burning sensation coming from his sphincter. “I shouldn’t have eaten the Grande Double Beef Burrito.” He thought as he ran his hands under the water and winced at the pain radiating from his fiery anus. “I definitely shouldn’t have added the extra hot sauce.”
            He could feel leakage coming from his asshole. He put his hands down his pants to check. No. He was dry. The leaking feeling was just his imagination he didn’t come up with a hand covered in bloody diarrhea as he expected. Hypothesis proved wrong. However, this did little to comfort him of the fiery inferno that blazed in his rectum with each step and deep breath he took.
            Jason blow dried his hands and stared at the wastebasket. Why was there a wastebasket in a bathroom with no paper towels? He began to imagine the possibilities, and then quickly decided it was better off not knowing. 
            He reached for the door handle. It didn’t move. He wiggled it up and down he pushed on the door and he even pulled just to be sure. It still refused to budge.
            “What the hell!?” Jason yelled furious. “Hey guys let me out!” This isn’t funny.” His college buddies were fucking with him again, they had to be. Jason wasn’t finding much humor in this situation though. “Let me out you fuckers! This isn’t funny god-damn-it.” He never understood why in every social group he was the one that was always picked on. They’re just immature and don’t understand my maturity, just a bunch of stupid ignor-
            There was a sudden gurgling sound coming from behind him. He turned around and the gurgling sound came again. It was coming from the stall, his stall. He approached it slowly. What the hell was that noise? He reached for the handle his hand trembling to the now constant gurgling sound emanating from inside his stall. What the fuck could it be? He was curious, he had always been curious; this seemed like another situation that he may have been better off not knowing. But at the same time he just had to know this was far too strange he couldn’t even begin to imagine what it could possibly be. I could discover something new and grand he thought.
            He opened the door. Nothing, just the toilet. Jason sighed relieved and disappointed. Then he realized the noise was coming from the toilet. He looked down into the toilet and was horrified by what he saw. It was a gurgling, brimming, steaming stew of shit. All the shades of the rectum rainbow were represented yellow, brown, orange, green, and even a little red; certainly from the poor souls who used el Diablo sauce. Jason reeled back repulsed but he also found he couldn’t look away.
            “What could be causing this?” As if to answer the fondue of feces formed a face with green eyes and a yellow brown patchwork face. “What the Fuck!” Jason eyes widened.
            “It don’t smell like roses, asshole!” the toilet belted before spiting shit on Jason’s face. No it most certainly did not smell like roses, but under the fecal smell was the faint scent of Grande burrito. Jason didn’t have time to ponder this thought however as he ran screaming towards the door. He pounded and pushed and screamed, but it was to no avail. The door wouldn’t budge.
            Jason heard a horrifying spurting sound and he turned around to see feces spewing from the toilet like a majestic fountain. The room began to fill with feces as Jason continued to pound on the door. The shit reached ankle deep, knee, waist and within a matter of minutes it was shoulder deep. The feces was watery but Jason still struggled to swim and float in it. As the feces raised above his nose and eyes and then eventually enveloped his whole body he was just glad that his ass didn’t burn anymore.

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