This is a short story about a first kiss, not mine! This is fiction and meant for entertainment please comment on the story here or on facebook or email me at rhaskill08@gmail.com. This is a rough draft of a short story and I welcome all comments and criticism. Please help me out with my story if you can!
The others had already left, gone home or back in the house.
My friends had left me all alone, purposefully. It was only me and her, Sarah,
outside in the cool night air looking at the stars. Neither of us had said a word,
only silence and the glow of the moon filled the air. I saw her sitting on the
damp grass in her jeans and red shirt, her auburn hair pulled back in a
ponytail. She was so beautiful and out of my league. She’s smart, athletic, and
beautiful a trifecta I missed on all points. What the hell was I thinking? I don’t
belong here all alone with her.
My nervous panic began to set in.
Do I smell? I knew I must stink, I could feel the beads of sweat running down
my back. I must smell terrible. I was convinced my nervous stink could be
smelled from a mile away. I had put on cologne earlier tonight to combat it. Oh no,
maybe I put on too much. Oh God, I can tell it’s choking the air, I can barely
breathe through it, I definitely put on way too much. I’m such an idiot!
She finally
broke the silence and my rapidly descending thoughts with a small inward
breath. That was a good breath, right? It didn’t sound like a breath of
boredom. Yes, that was a breath of contentment not boredom. There was a smile
on her face. That’s a good thing she is enjoying herself and at the least isn’t
bored.
My right hand started to move
closer to hers. It inched closer little by little shaking the whole time. Stop!
What are you doing? This is crazy you don’t stand a chance you can’t make that
move. Can’t take that risk and be laughed at or slapped across the face. I
didn’t want this moment to end in embarrassing failure and a red cheek. I
regained control of my hand and I stopped it from moving just a few inches away
from her hand. I wasn’t ready to move like that yet. My hand was paralyzed with
fear. Thank God I stopped myself in time! Who knows what could have happened.
That could have ended disastrously. I can’t believe I was about to do such a
silly thing it surely would have rui-
She had moved her hand next to mine
and placed her pinky on top of mine. My whole body seemed to tighten at the
touch of her soft hand. It only got tighter as her pinky started to rub up and
down the inside of my pinky and then wrap around beneath mine. My whole body
tightened against itself. I couldn’t move at all. I didn’t understand what was
happening. I could only shrink into myself.
Something must be done. I had to move. No longer could I just sit
here. That was a signal to act, to do something. But I didn’t. She made the
move again and intertwined her fingers with mine. Something must have been
lodged in my throat because I couldn’t breathe and my mouth didn’t have a drop
of moisture.
Somehow I managed to scrape up the
will to look over at her and I saw she was looking over at me too with a shy
smile that she often wore. She gripped my hand tighter and moved right up next
to me. Our shoulders and thighs touched. I was just glad I didn’t pass out from
the overload of impulses and the blood racing through my head. Our warm bodies
leaned against each other and against the cool breeze.
She started the move, bringing her
face closer to mine. The final move was here. I couldn’t believe this was
happening. Was I ready? Does my breath
stink? Is there anything stuck in between my teeth? They always get spinach
stuck in their teeth in the movies and I had a spinach salad for lunch. There
must be spinach stuck in mine too. I could feel something irritating the space
between my teeth. I wanted to go for it but I couldn’t with her face right in
mine. I ran my tongue along my teeth, nothing. There were bigger things to
worry about. I should have worn a better shirt. I should have taken mints.
There were a thousand things I should have done. I didn’t care anymore. There
was nothing more to be discussed nothing mor-
I moved. I finally moved. Our lips touched and
my brain finally shut down. I looked into her eyes before closing mine. Lips
parted and our tongues found their way into each other’s mouths running across
the other’s teeth. Her pinky ran back up and down mine before wrapping around
once again. Our lips detached and the kiss was done. After all these years I
had finally done it. And it was… it was… okay, fine, alright, maybe a little
disappointing. It wasn’t terrible, but it just didn’t live up to expectations.
What does this mean? What could it mean if my first kiss wasn’t amazing, if
sparks and fireworks don’t fly? Does she know I’m disappointed? It’s not right
on my face is it? I was sure to force a smile just to reassure her. I don’t
know what this means? I did enjoy our fingers interlocking and moving up and
down. Her long soft fingers felt good… her long phallic fingers. Oh God what
does that mean!? Why would I think that? You don’t think that could possibly mea-
I really liked that I felt like I was there, I could feel nervous and anxious. I liked some of the descriptions like the setting but I think in some places there was too much description like what kind of person she is. I liked how he had so much running through his head but it almost seems like too much compared to whatever else is going on in the story. I liked that the ending was disappointing it goes against the whole perfect first kiss image and it is actually true first kisses are awkward. Overall I thought it was a good first draft I'd be interested in reading a story with this as the opening scene, it drew me in.
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